contact Michelle

For more information about any resources I have to offer, please contact me here!  I'd love to hear from you!


Portland, OR
USA

I exist to help dads learn to communicate and engage with their young adult daughters.  I provide resources from my vast amounts of research and experience with dads and daughters, and this is the place where you'll find the tools you need to become the hero you've always wanted to be.

Free Resources

 

Free Resources from ME TO YOU

I'd love to share a few resources with you that I use for Abba Project dads.  These will get you started in the right direction, being more intentional with your daughters.  Just click the icon below to download for free.

the f.a.t.h.e.r. formula

If you want a clear cut path to engaging your daughter’s heart, look no further. Any dad can put this single page formula into action today!  

The F.A.T.H.E.R. Formula.pdf

Speak Up

This worksheet is probably the first thing I recommend any dad to read.  In it, we learn some of the dynamics at work in the dad/daughter relationship which may be leading you to be silent when you should speak up.  This includes specific "Do's" and "Don'ts" regarding what should be said and what might not be so helpful.

To Speak Or Not To Speak.pdf

DAD-TO-DAUGHTER SELF-ESTEEM QUESTIONS

Most every girl struggles in some way, shape, or form with how she sees herself. Often her internal dialogue is  self-critical and negative, leading her to see her flaws more than her strengths. When a girl's self esteem is low she tends to view the world through that negative lens. If you as a dad want to open up a conversation with your daughter to help her talk through this issue with you, I encourage you to use this handout as a guide. 

Dad-to-Daughter Self-Esteem Questions

25 things my dad taught me that have carried me 25 years without him

If any dad ever doubts that the little things he does will have a big and lasting impact, this list by Brooke Perry will help you see otherwise. 

25 Things by Brooke Perry.pdf

Equipping You to Have the Sex Talk with Your Daughter

Your daughter is being bombarded with sexual messages everywhere she turns. And Dad, if you don’t address this issue of sex with her, then she’ll learn about it everywhere else. Because I understand that this is a challenging topic to talk about, here is a guide to equip you to lead the conversation with her. 

Equipping You to Have the Sex Talk with Your Daughter.pdf

Dad-to-Daughter INITIAL Date Questionnaire

This is the perfect handout to take with you on one of your first dad-daughter dates and will be a great launching pad for guiding the conversation. You'll start by asking about her life in the present, then moving on to questions about the past and future. Remember, the goal is to draw her out, let her talk, actively listen and have FUN together!

Dad/Daughter Date Questionnaire.pdf

Daughter-to-Dad Date Questionnaire

Most daughters love hearing stories from their good ol' dad.  If your daughter would prefer that you be on the "hot seat" by disclosing things about yourself before she's ready to open up with you, here's a list of questions to get her started.  Sometimes you have to be the one to model vulnerability before she's ready to talk.  The goal is to help her understand what you were like at her age.  Make this extra fun by putting on your best "story-telling hat"! 

Daughter to Dad Questions.pdf

Dad-To-Daughter QUESTIONS on DATING

Daughters and dating is a scary combination!  Do you know the tools your daughter needs to help her engage in a healthy dating life?  This worksheet will help you navigate this tricky venture.

Dating & Development_1.pdf

If you feel that deeper dialogue on the concept of dating is in order, feel free to copy this off and lead the way with her!

Dad to Daughter Questions on Dating_1.pdf

DAD, HERE ARE YOUR LINES

Most men would agree that they do well at reading the lines when it comes to relationships but struggle to keep up with the women in their lives who constantly seem to be reading between the lines.  In an effort to support dads everywhere who want to get it right in order to be loving and supportive, I've written a coding chart to help translate for you the way we daughters internalize and interpret our dad's words. 

Dad, Here are Your Lines.pdf

WHAT TO SAY (AND NOT SAY) TO YOUR DAUGHTER

This double list is one you can bring up on your phone or print out and keep handy as a guide to help you evaluate how you're doing with the things you say to your daughter. Since the words you speak are key to the view she carries about herself throughout her whole life, it is vital that you communicate affirmative and life-giving things to her rather than things that will harm or hamper her development. Here's a list of things that will help you accomplish your goal of speaking to her heart.

 What to Say (and Not Say) to Your Daughter.pdf

writing a letter to your daughter

In our age of technology, when you take the time to write a hand-written letter to your daughter, it will stand out from the rest. Here is a template for ideas to include in your letter, ranging from highlighting the meaning of her name to telling her what it was like when you first laid eyes on her after she was born.

Writing a Letter to Your Daughter.pdf

HOW TO LEAD YOUR DAUGHTER SPIRITUALLY

I understand that spiritual leadership by a father to his daughter (and sons) is a daunting task, to say the least.  I have sought, as a daughter and as one who hears from a lot of women about what they want and need from their dads, to put together a list of things that I believe will have positive impact if you want to step it up and initiate dialogue and action with regards to spiritual things.  Here is my "Bakers Dozen for Dads to Spiritually Lead Their Daughters."

The Baker's Dozen for Dads to Spiritually Lead Their Daughters.pdf

DAD-TO-DAUGHTER QUESTIONS ON SPIRITUAL THEMES

Do you ever struggle to open up a conversation with your daughter about spiritual themes, either because you’re on different pages or it ends in a hostile debate where the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye? Perhaps this questionnaire will help. Here are 12 questions designed to help you learn about how your daughter's doing spiritually without forcing her to agree with you or respond defensively. This is all about being curious and keeping the conversation moving as you learn about where she is at with God and spiritual topics. 

Dad to Daughter Questions on Spiritual Themes.pdf

ABBA FATHER LETTER: MY TREASURED CHILD

Dad: I wrote this letter based on the truths of the Bible that capture the heart of God as a Father to us as His children.  I encourage you to read this letter out loud to your daughter (even if it’s uncomfortable), leading her to embrace God’s loving truth while you, her dad, give voice to HIS heart of love for her. I trust you'll find this helpful in leading your daughter spiritually. 

Abba Father Letter: My Treasured Child.pdf

WHAT A GIRL NEEDS FROM HER DAD SPIRITUALLY

If you want a condensed version of what daughters say they want from their dads when it comes to spiritual leadership, you'll want this handout!

What a Girl Needs From Her Dad Spiritually.pdf

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Great Websites

The Dad Man
New website by Dads and Daughters founder Joe Kelly, features Blog, Articles and Q&A.
www.thedadman.org

The Samson Society
Online brotherhood of men seeking authenticity in life and relationship.
www.samsonsociety.com

FINDINGbalance
Hundreds of free videos and other resources to help you (and/or your daughter) eat well and live free from body image issues. Their annualHungry for Hope conference could be a great weekend trip together if your daughter wrestles with issues like these. www.findingbalance.com

 

Recommended Reading

Father God Daring to Draw Near
Dave Patty

The Good Dad Becoming the Father You Were Meant To Be
Jim Daly

52 Things Daughters Need from Their Dads What Fathers Can Do to Build a Lasting Relationship
Jay Payleitner

The Heart of a Father
Ken Canfield

Knowing the Heart of the Father
David Eckman

The Five Love Languages of Teenagers
Gary Chapman

Dads and Daughters How to Inspire, Understand and Support Your Daughter
Joe Kelly

The Dads and Daughters Togetherness Guide
Joe Kelly

What A Difference A Daddy Makes The Indelible Imprint a Dad Leaves on His Daughters Life
Kevin Lehman

The Daddy Gap
Dawn Walker and Matt Haviland

Father Hunger Fathers, Daughters, and the Pursuit of Thinness
Margo Maine

Strong Fathers Strong Daughters 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know
Meg Meeker, MD

Hero Being the Strong Father Your Children Need
Meg Meeker, MD

Between Fathers and Daughters Enriching and Rebuilding Your Adult Relationship
Linda Nielson

Daughters Gone Wild, Dads Gone Crazy Battle-Tested Tips From a Father and Daughter Who Survived The Teenage Years
Charles Stone and Heather Stone

Dads Everything Book For Daughters
John Trent

Hey! DID YOU KNOW I HAVE A BI-MonthLY "DAD-DAUGHTER FRIDAY BLOG"?
EVERY OTHER WEEK I WRITE ABOUT DADS AND THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR DAUGHTERS. TO HAVE IT DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX, JUST SIGN UP HERE