contact Michelle

For more information about any resources I have to offer, please contact me here!  I'd love to hear from you!


Portland, OR
USA

It’s my joy and honor to equip dads with practical tools to better dial into their daughters’ hearts.

With 25 years of experience as a licensed professional counselor and over 35 years working directly with teens and young adult women. Dr. Michelle Watson brings practical wisdom to dads with daughters of all ages.

Blog

What You Have to Gain by Engaging Your Daughter’s Heart

Michelle Watson

Happy Father’s Day weekend, Dad!

I’m cheering for you today as a father and a GirlDad. And whether you’re in a strong and amazing place with your daughter or you’re struggling with her in this season, the fact remains that you’re a dad and this is a day of celebration for being part of the story God is writing in her life…and yours.

As you know, I LOVE championing you as you dial in to your daughter’s heart so she can be all God has created her to be…with you in her cheering section throughout her entire life.

And when professionals and clinicians address practical ways to raise healthy sons and daughters, most often the focus is on the positive benefit to children. Yet today I want to change things up a bit and talk about the POSITIVE, PROACTIVE, AND POWERFUL IMPACT TO YOUR LIFE that takes place when you engage your daughter’s heart.

As I reflect on the decade-plus of coaching dads of daughters while challenging them to invest strategically, consistently, and intentionally in their daughter’s lives (with a minimum once-a-month dad-daughter date with more vulnerable and honest conversation), I think of how impacted I’ve been in hearing them share---with one word---the GAINS they experienced through the process.

I asked these men to describe their experience---and benefit---of spending nine months in The Abba Project with a goal to bond and connect more with their daughters. Here are some of the favorite words I’ve heard:

  • Introspective

  • Growth-producing

  • Worthwhile

  • Enlightening

  • Intense

  • Authentic

  • Inspirational (which led another dad to add, “Perspirational!”)

  • Educational

  • Encouraging

  • Transformative

  • Eye-opening

  • Rewarding

How many of these words describe YOU as a GirlDad?

If your words are similar to what these dads have said, to you I say, “Well done!”

However, if the words you would use to describe yourself in this season with your daughter are less optimistic than these words above, I encourage you to follow the lead of hundreds of other dads who made a decision to be more intentional about heart pursuit of their daughter no matter the odds

(This is why I’ve written books, specifically Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters, to equip you to lead and connect more with your daughters).

Yes, many of the men I’ve coached were facing very challenging dynamics with their girls. Many started from a place of discouragement, rejection, even estrangement. But each one committed to doing his part in reaching out to his daughter, and every one saw growth in himself, even if his daughter still responded in less-than-positive ways.

Listen to more first-person testimonies of GAIN by committing to this process:

  • “It’s been a lot of work, but worth it. I believe I have grown.”

  • “While this process is different for every dad, you gave me every tool I needed. What I can say now is that there’s no finish line for being a dialed-in dad!”

  • “It’s been a tough year with my fifteen-year-old. Then earlier last week she was angry with me and wouldn’t talk to me for two days, but I can tell I’m responding differently than I used to . . . and we just had a breakthrough this weekend! She came up and hugged me and said, ‘I like hugs.’ Since then she keeps hugging me, and I tell her that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.’”

  • “I’m now fathering my daughters with greater vision, which has really developed and increased my capacity for reaching them. My resource well has deepened, and I more frequently draw from that well now.”

  • “The more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know as much as I thought I did. In other words, I can be a good dad already, but now I admit I have lots of room for improvement, especially when it comes to speaking Venusian!”

I long to see dads across America become more intentional in the ways they pursue, engage, and connect with their daughters just like these brave men who stepped into uncharted territory.

The key is not giving up before you reach the finish line, while being committed to talking through as many of the upcoming questionnaires with your daughter as are applicable. If you do give up, you’ll inadvertently convey that she’s not worth the effort.

Comment