Fathering Regrets from Nike Co-Founder Phil Knight

For the bulk of my life I lived in Portland, Oregon in the heart of Nike country. In fact, the church I attended for over 25 years is on the street where the company’s world headquarters resides.

I’ve had lots of friends who work for Nike and have done everything from designing shoes to leading international teams to doing various jobs in between. There’s even been a number of dads in The Abba Project who have been part of the Nike family. All this to say, the swoosh has been commonly seen and worn in my community!

This leads me to ask: Have you read or heard of Nike co-founder, Phil Knight’s, best-selling memoir, Shoe Dog? In this book, he shares his journey from launching a struggling start-up to becoming what is now a fifty-billion-plus- dollar company, and the world’s largest supplier of athletic shoes and apparel.

What I’ve noticed is that when Mr. Knight talks, people listen. And when Mr. Knight talks about life lessons he’s learned along the way—especially the hard way—people really listen.

That said, his reflections at the end of his book about being a dad are particularly noteworthy:

It might be nice to tell the story of Nike. Everyone else has told the story, or tried to, but they always get half the facts, if that, and none of the spirit. Or vice versa. I might start the story, or end it, with regrets. The hundreds—maybe thousands—of bad decisions . . . Of course, above all, I regret not spending more time with my sons. Maybe, if I had, I could’ve solved the encrypted code of Matthew Knight. And yet I know that this regret clashes with my secret regret—that I can’t do it all over again.

The fact that Phil’s son Matthew died in a scuba diving accident at the age of 34 makes these poignant words spoken by a man in his late seventies who wishes he’d been a more invested father even more powerful.

To state the obvious, he can’t get time back and he can’t get his son back.

• Dad, don’t let this be your story.

• Decide now to re-examine your priorities.

• Don’t wait.

• Just do it!

And this isn’t about perfection because no one is perfect. It is, however, about pursuing time with your daughter no matter what challenges arise, at any cost to yourself.

Taking Mr. Knight’s words to heart, I challenge you to ask yourself this question: Do I want to live with purpose (with clearly defined goals with specific and measurable action steps) or with regret when it comes to my role as a GirlDad?

I know you want to live with purpose as a father and actively pursue your daughter’s heart by putting your love for her into action or you wouldn’t have read my blog today.

So now let’s get practical and personal.

1. Ask yourself: Am I spending “enough” time with my daughter?
   (Yes, this is a relative term and may be hard to answer specifically…so search your heart and be honest with yourself. A “no excuses” mindset increases the likelihood of living with no regrets).

2. Ask yourself: What am I willing to change/give up/adapt to increase my flexibility and visibility to meet my daughter in this season?
   (Ex: Start work later to drive her to school, work out at another time so you’re available when she has time, invite her to join you in activities that allow for more consistent bonding, set up consistent calls or FaceTime to create a rhythm of connection she can count on…)

3. Ask your daughter: “Are we spending as much time together as you’d like?”

4. Ask your daughter: “What are one or two ways I can be more present in your life…and be specific about where I can meet you in your world.”

There it is Dad: two questions to ask yourself and two to ask your daughter.

You know how much I encourage you to TALK and LISTEN as you interact with your daughter so she can tell you what she feels, thinks, believes and needs…especially from you.

It’s up to YOU to initiate the conversation.

And yes, your daughter may or may not respond positively as you pursue her heart, yet as you consistently initiate connecting with her in real time, you’ll always know you put your time where your heart is…and that’s how you clarify your purpose to live without (or with less) regrets.

Go Dad!

How to Tell Your Daughter More of Your Story

Happy 2026 to you, Dad!

If you’ve been reading my blogs or listening to The Dad Whisperer Podcast for any length of time, you know how I encourage you to tell your stories to your daughter. And not just the positive and good ones---but also the messy ones (especially when there’s a redemptive ending).

I believe this is so vitally important to your relationship with her that I ended my book, Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters with an entire section called, “Lead Her to Listen.” This is where you as dads hand your daughter the book so she can ask you questions about your life.

Here’s how I introduce this section in my book, explaining why this matters:

“Remember that we daughters don’t expect you dads to be perfect or to have never made stupid decisions or chosen an unwise path. When we see you as authentic and human while admitting that you’ve made mistakes along the way, it makes you more real and approachable, and we respect you all the more for having forged through hard stuff despite challenges.

We’re inspired when hearing about obstacles you’ve overcome to get where you are today, which gives us more freedom to tell you what’s going on in our lives.

Additionally, Dad, when you tell your daughter stories from your own life, it serves as a reminder of what you’ve learned the hard way, thus giving you more grace for her at the age and stage she’s in now.

And whether or not your daughter realizes that she’s going to grow through this process of asking you questions and hearing your responses, the reality is that this is a vital skill set for her going forward as she learns to inquire and investigate with care and genuine interest in another person.”

Dad, here are three options to move forward this year if this idea of story-telling resonates with you:

1. A great place to start is to get a copy of Let’s Talk and let your daughter follow the directions in the last chapter to ask you specific questions about your life.

2. If you’re ready to action now, here’s a quick 3-fold template to begin telling your story to your daughter:

• Tell her what happened

• Tell her what you learned (even the hard way…and be sure to include the redemptive ending!)

• Invite questions

3. If you’re ready to take a bigger step forward in telling your stories, here’s more ideas to support that goal:

• Tell about your life chronologically: One year at a time.

  • Share one thing from each age of your life. And if your daughter has questions, answer them in age appropriate ways based on her ability to track with you.

• Tell about your life seasonally: One season at a time.

  • My dad would often tell me stories that fit with the time of year that we were in - be it a specific holiday or even a weather-related story. You can even tell her about food traditions at specific times of the year.

• Tell about your life thematically: One topic at a time.

  • Open the vault and tell her about your family of origin and what it was like to be in your family---and go into more detail about your education...jobs…sports…friends…girlfriends…dating…adventures…risks…etc.

• Tell about your life spiritually: One theme at a time.

  • Reveal significant times in your life with God...or questions you’ve had…or lessons you’ve learned…mentors you’ve had…or parts of the Bible that are particularly meaningful to you.

• Tell about your life relationally: One person at a time.

  • As you tell about people who have influenced you, not only will you be honoring those individuals while inviting your daughter to learn from them as well, but you’ll be positively impacted by re-telling about the influence and impact of mentors, coaches, pastors, teachers, relatives, etc.

You’ve heard me say this before and I’ll stay it again: You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be present. And though you’ve made mistakes in your life, telling your stories can model to your daughter what resilience looks like in real time and she’ll internalize your strength.

Telling your stories is a powerful way to be present in your daughter’s life.

Dad, make it a goal this year to share more of your story with your daughter. She’ll be grateful for it…and I believe you will be too!