Like Father, Like Daughter

We’ve all heard it said that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. For some of us that’s a compliment while for others it feels more like a curse… or at least a major bummer.

When we look in the Bible there sometimes is a pattern to the apple-tree thing but at other times the whole father-to-child legacy doesn’t seem to play out according to plan.

Take Josiah, for instance.  He became king of Judah after the assassination of his father Amon, a king who majorly influenced his people to turn away from God just like his father Manasseh had done before him. Then in the middle of a virtual no man’s land in the purity department, eight-year old Josiah pops up as a righteous, God-fearing king who instituted major spiritual reforms. It’s a mystery as to where his clarity came from at such a young age, especially with relatively no male role model set anywhere in his family tree.  

That right there should give hope to anyone who thinks that their fate is sealed if they come from a screwed up family, and particularly one where the male side hasn’t perhaps been the most stellar examples. Josiah is proof that in each generation we get to make our own choices.

There’s another dad in the Bible who catches my attention. This dad was an awesome role model to his daughter. Caleb and his friend Joshua were the two spies who went into the Promised Land when there were giants inhabiting it. Instead of being freaked out or intimidated by the giants in the land, they saw with eyes of faith and believed that God would keep His promise to give them their land.

Now fast forward to the time where Caleb steps into his role as a dad. His daughter’s name was Achsah and just like her dad, she was a woman of faith and courage, a woman with a voice who wasn’t afraid to ask for what she wanted. It’s obvious that her dad had modeled to her what it meant to be bold and forthright.

Let’s pick up the story in Joshua 15, verse 18:  “One day when Achsah came to her husband, she urged him to ask her father for a field. When she got off her donkey, Caleb asked her, “What can I do for you?” 

I LOVE that question from dad to daughter!  It’s so simple yet so profound. These are six words that every dad should memorize and use regularly.

Caleb brings himself to his daughter’s problem. He is willing to invest of his own time and resources to help her. (And it’s worth noting that he was still a dialed in dad even after his daughter was married!)

Notice the freedom of honest clarity that flows from Achsah’s mouth as she responds to her dad’s question by asking him to do her a special favor and give her springs of water. She obviously knew that she had the foundation of relationship with her dad to ask him for a “special favor.” There was no fear there. She knew he would listen. And the cool thing is that he does it for her. We read that “Caleb gave her the upper and lower springs.” (v. 19)

Do you notice how easily she responded to her dad’s question about what she wanted without holding back?

Do you notice how this dad offered the gift of his attention----solely focused on her?

Do you notice how he gives his daughter more than she asked for?

Dads, I’d encourage you to begin making these six words a regular part of your interactions with your daughters. I promise it will be a life-changer in the way your daughter responds to you!

Thanks Caleb for being a fantastic role model of a dialed-in dad! I know you’ve led the way for countless Girldads in the 21st century to follow in your footsteps.