Reparented by a Different Father: Christa's Story

Today’s blog is written by a courageous young woman named Christa who vulnerably tells her story. You may want to share this with your daughter to open up a conversation with her about spiritual themes that Christa talks about. I’m grateful to have been a part of her story, and am hopeful that more women with father wounds will explore what it means to be re-fathered by their Heavenly Father.  

~Dr. Michelle

I grew up with a very unsupportive father. Though he appeared to be the perfect dad to outsiders, I had to live with the truth of his lies every day. From the time I was four years old, he would just leave us every time him and my mom would have any disagreement. He cheated on my mom at least four times from the years that I was in middle school all the way up until college. This made me feel completely unprotected in my own home. 

The one man in my life who I was supposed to be able to trust completely, rely on, and confide in was constantly spewing out lies and always seemed to be on the run from his family. But, when he was home, he always found a way to put my mom, my sister, and I down. He told my sister and I that men were better than women and that women could never amount to the same things as men could. He was constantly critical of all of us in our weight as well. 

He was not shy about letting us know if we were starting to look over weight. Obviously all of this was very damaging. I grew up in a house where women had to be perfect, but we were not allowed to do anything greater than a man could do. Talk about a mixed message.

I am sure that it is no surprise that I had struggles of my own as a result of this painful childhood. I had very little self-confidence. I believe that I was depressed most of my childhood, and especially from the ages of about 12 even up until the age of 22 (I am 23 now). I also suffered from anorexia in high school. There have been many times in my life where I wished that I just never had born. Times even when I contemplated suicide. My life just looked empty and hopeless. 

Even though I had believed in God my whole life, I honestly did not really see how he could help me.

All family therapists that I had been to told me that I would never live a “normal” life or have a healthy relationship until I completely mended my relationship with my father. Though I understand and believe that it is important to not allow bitterness or resentment to take over (I have forgiven my dad for his mistakes, he is human and he has pain too), it is difficult for a young girl to hear that it is her own responsibility to heal her and her father’s broken relationship and that if she does not do this, she will have no hope of a good life. 

Then I met Dr. Michelle. When I walked into her office, I have to admit, I was skeptical that I would be able to find any healing in my life. I felt stuck. But she introduced something to me that changed my life. 

She taught me how to look to God as my Father instead of just some omnipotent figure far away that was judging me (like my own father did). When I began to press into God in that way, I noticed a change. I realized that instead of shouting harsh judgments and criticisms at me, my Abba Father wanted to whisper sweet words of encouragement and love. 

Words that fed my soul instead of tearing down my spirit. It was like the beginning of this great love story that not only changed my thoughts, but changed how I lived my life every day. 

My life is full of hope now because I am being re-parented by my Daddy who loves me without conditions and constantly reminds me how worthy I am of a great and full life. 

A Daddy who is so overjoyed with me in my accomplishments, but knows how to comfort and console me in my times of heart ache and pain. I can now honestly say that I am on my path to full healing and that now when I look ahead, all I see is hope.