A Back-to-School Power Prayer for your Daughter

As your daughter begins this new school year, you’re aware that there are influences around her all day, every day. As her father, you will see potential pitfalls and speed bumps that may impact her in the ways she navigates her schedule, friends, grades, activities, sports, and on it goes.

I truly believe the best way to put your love into action is through the power of prayer.

I just finished reading a great book by Mark Batterson titled, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day and I was profoundly convicted and inspired when reading these words

“There are only two ways to live your life: survival mode or prayer mode. Survival mode is simply reacting to the circumstances around you…Prayer mode is the exact opposite. Your spiritual antenna is up and your radar is on…If you want to see and seize God-ordained opportunities, you’ve got to live in prayer mode.”

So Dad, as you talk to your Heavenly Father about your daughter, you’re aligning your heart with His heart for your girl.

Imagine if you were to pray the same prayer for her every day over the next nine months.

THIS, my friend, is one way you can live out the truth of James 5:16…

The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much when put into action and made effective by God—it is dynamic and can have tremendous power.

Did you catch two key words here? HEARTFELT and PERSISTENT.

We already know your heart is turned towards your daughter or you wouldn’t be reading this blog. Now for the persistent part. This means being tenacious, determined, stubborn and tireless.

If you’re ready to put your heart into action with powerful prayers for your daughter, I encourage you to write out your prayers and commit to speaking them out to the Father daily.

Here are five incredible Scriptures you can pray for her protection and growth throughout this school year. You can even let her know you’re praying these specific truths for her!

1. May the Lord bless you and keep you; May the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you His peace.
   (Numbers 6:24-26)
   

2. I pray that out of his glorious riches the Father may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being.
   (Ephesians 3:16)
   

3. God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.
   (2 Timothy 1:7)
   

4. I can’t stop thanking God for you. Every time I pray, I give thanks. But I do more than thank. I ask Jesus to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you
    to do and grasp the immensity of this better way of life.
   (Ephesians 1:18-19)
   

5. Put on the full armor of God…Stand firm with the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, and the shoes of peace. Take up the shield of faith and put on the helmet of salvation while holding the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
   (Ephesians 6:13-17)

Dad, the time is now to provide spiritual covering for your daughter like never before. As you believe God to strengthen her during this next school year, both of you will celebrate the answers to your powerful prayers when you look back at the end of the year.

And this is your opportunity to put your faith into action as a man who is tenacious, determined, stubborn and tireless. Go Dad!

Why Your Teenage Daughter Needs Your CALM, Not Control

Let’s face it: Raising a teenage daughter can feel like a mix of emotional landmines and missed curfews—with a side of “Who even are you right now?”

As Girldads, we want the best for our daughters.
But as they pull away and start to run their own lives, it’s easy to default to frustration, authority, or even ultimatums.

And that’s exactly why self-control becomes one of our greatest tools—not for changing them, but for leading them.

One Dad’s Story: From Ultimatum to Humility

A father and mother were exhausted by their teen daughter’s behavior—disrespectful, irresponsible, and heading toward serious consequences.

They planned a sit-down. Tough love was the only option.
Dad even started writing a list: Here’s what needs to change—or you’ll need to move out.

It was heartbreaking. He couldn’t imagine what would happen if she left.

Then he flipped the page over.

And he wrote his list.
Things he needed to change.
Habits. Tone. Presence. Priorities.

And when his daughter came home, he didn’t lead with anger.
He led with honesty. With humility. With self-control.
That conversation didn’t explode—it connected.
Because his posture invited her heart to open.

Why Self-Control Matters More Than EveR

Here’s the hard truth:
You can’t control your daughter.
Not really. Not anymore.

But you can influence her. And that influence starts with how you respond when everything in you wants to react.

Self-control is what builds bridges instead of walls.
It’s what transforms battles into conversations.
It’s what earns trust instead of fear.

What Self-Control Looks Like as a Dad

• Holding your tongue when sarcasm is itching to speak.

• Walking away when you need to cool down.

• Pausing before punishment to pray and reflect.

• Admitting when you’re wrong—even when it’s uncomfortable.

• Choosing conversation over command.

These actions say:

“I’m still in your corner—even when things are hard.”

If you stay the course in CALMing yourself, these four attributes will become the hallmark of your father-daughter relationship:

Closeness

Attachment

Listening

Modeling

A Simple Exercise That Can Change Everything

Try this:

1. Write down everything you wish would change about your daughter’s behavior.

2. Flip the page.

3. Now write what you could change to support her growth.

You might be surprised—maybe even convicted.
But this kind of reflection creates a foundation for healing, respect, and real maturity.

From Control to Connection

Teenagers are in a tug-of-war between dependence and independence.
They’re asking:

• Am I safe?

• Do you respect me?

• Are you going to explode—or walk with me through this?

When you choose self-control, you answer those questions with stability and strength.
And you earn the right to walk alongside her in her journey to adulthood.

Ken Canfield PhD, is a nationally-known leader and scholar, and has committed his life to strengthening fathers and families. He founded and is president of the National Center for Fathering (www.fathers.com), as well as the National Association for Grandparenting (www.grandkidsmatter.org), and continues to engage in several organizations dedicated to improving family well-being.

Dad-Daughter Friday Blog | Affirming Your Daughter from A to Z

Hey Dad…

Let’s talk today about a straight-forward-get-to-the-point way to bless the socks off your daughter by using the alphabet as your writing guide. This is an entertaining way to tell your daughter what you love about her from A to Z.

All you’ll do is use each letter of the alphabet as your prompt to tell her the qualities you Appreciate, Admire, and Adore about her…all the way to telling her the Zillion things you love and enjoy about her.

And even if you’ve done this in the past, trust me when I say she’ll never tire of being affirmed by you and I’m guessing she needs to hear your words again today. 

I’ll get you started...“Honey, in my eyes you are Adorable/Adventurous, Beautiful/Brave, Clever/Creative, Daring/Diligent, Extraordinary/Enthusiastic...”

A. _______________________________________________

B. _______________________________________________

C. _______________________________________________

D. _______________________________________________

E. _______________________________________________

F. _______________________________________________

G. _______________________________________________

H. _______________________________________________

I. _______________________________________________

J. _______________________________________________

K. _______________________________________________

L. _______________________________________________

M. _______________________________________________

N. _______________________________________________

O. _______________________________________________

P. _______________________________________________

Q. _______________________________________________

R. _______________________________________________

S. _______________________________________________

T. _______________________________________________

U. _______________________________________________

V. _______________________________________________

W. _______________________________________________

X. _______________________________________________

Y. _______________________________________________

Z. _______________________________________________

For a double benefit from this exercise, take what you’ve written and read it to her on your dad-daughter date. Then she can keep what you’ve written, adding strength to the words you share. And if she lives a distance away where you can’t connect in person, mail her your words so she has something in her mailbox to stand out from technology in real time.

In doing this, it’s as easy as can be to increase your fathering literacy…from A to Z! 

10 Do's for Leading Your Daughter to Resolve Conflict

In my last blog you learned 10 things NOT to do (I called them “DON’T’s”) when it comes to leading the way in resolving conflicts with your daughter. And today is Part 2 with 10 things to DO to bring peace to your daughter during stressful times. 

These conflict resolution skills are designed to help YOU stay grounded to lead your daughter to a positive resolution with you at the helm.

You notice I’m using the word LEAD more than once. This is because it’s up to YOU to take the initiative to model healthy responses to your daughter. I know it’s easier said than done, but because your little apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree, the better able you are to stay regulated and calm, the better able she’ll be to follow your lead and regulate herself.

Before I share the DO’s list for solid conflict resolution, let’s review the DON’T’s of things to avoid as you help your daughter resolve conflicts in a positive way with you, her siblings and friends. (At the end of this blog, I’m attaching a pdf you can copy off and put it in a prominent place as a reminder of these 20 truths). 

10 DON’T’s for Leading Your Daughter to Resolve Conflicts:

1. DON’T raise your voice and escalate by yelling.

2. DON’T fire words at her, coupled with intense emotion in an attempt to gain control of her and/or the situation.

3. DON’T disrespect her while demanding that she respect you.

4. DON’T forget that she will follow your example.

5. DON’T expect her to be the first to soften her tone and react right.

6. DON’T demand that she immediately respond to what you say or ask.

7. DON’T walk away while shouting or reacting.

8. DON’T make fun of her for what she says or how she feels.

9. DON’T go it alone.

10. DON’T believe the lie that you don’t matter when it comes to shaping your daughter’s life and identity.

Whew….you made it through the list of DON’T’s! Well done. Now take a breath and soak in the positive things you can do to help turn things in a better direction when the intensity increases…in you and your daughter.

10 DO's to Lead Your Daughter to Resolve Conflict:

1. DO treat her the way you want to be treated. (If you want her to respect you and/or her mom, your home/rules, etc., make sure you’re modeling what respect looks like in action).

2. DO lead by example. (You’re a leader, whether you know it or not. Your daughter will follow your lead by watching how you respond to her and those around you).

3. DO stay calm and filter every word that comes out of your mouth. (Do this just like you do when you’re at your best, in a public place, or on the job while being mindful that your responses are being watched and they matter. This requires self-control, which is a fruit of the Spirit so He will help you if you ask).

4. DO take a “time out” when you’re triggered that matches your age. (For example, if you’re 35 years old, take 35 minutes to walk away from the situation so your brain can calm itself. Then come back and continue the interaction. You’ll never regret waiting to address something later…guarantee it!)

5. DO be the first to admit wrong and ask forgiveness for your part in the conflict. (When you own your stuff, take responsibility, and make amends, she will respond positively to your vulnerability and humility).

6. DO try texting or writing a note to express yourself. (This will allow her to hear your words without being triggered or overwhelmed by the intensity of your words, tone, and body language).

7. DO ask your daughter’s mom or other adult females to help you decode your daughter and better understand her point of view. (Be open to input from others to expand your awareness beyond what you know or have experienced).

8. DO get close enough to see her eyes during the conflict and seek to validate the place inside where she is hurting. (Eyes are the window to the soul and when you see her hurt, you’ll be better able to reach her heart).

9. DO listen more than talk as you seek to grasp what she’s saying and hear where she needs you to understand. (Ask more questions than giving statements because the more she feels heard, seen and understood by you, the quicker she’ll calm down and co-regulate with you. Communicate that you want to understand and need her help to do so).

10. DO rest assured that long after the conflict is over, she will remember that you loved her as you’ve sought to win her heart more than the argument. (This is about looking at the bigger picture and thinking about the long game beyond the present moment and conflict).

These 20 specific ways to be a leader in your home as you seek to model relational health with your daughter. And though every one of these skills takes practice, they provide a road map for intentional, positive investment in her life.

As I shared last time, I trust this list of DO’s and DON’T’s serves to remind you during challenging moments that you can actually strengthen your relationship with your daughter and deepen your bond by how you proactively work through the situation to a positive resolution.

To download the PDF with all 20 Do's and Don'ts, click here. 

I’m cheering you on as you DECREASE YOUR DON’T’s and INREASE YOUR DO’s when it comes to being a conflict resolver. Go Dad!

10 Don’t’s for Leading Your Daughter to Resolve Conflict

We all know that being good at resolving conflict is not easy. Do I hear an “amen”?!

The reality is that being competent at resolving conflict is a learned skill, not something we’re innately wired to do.

Of course there are certain personalities that tend to run hot (which can be tied to individual wiring, trauma triggers, birth order, etc.), yet we all can benefit from a refresher course in strengthening our base when it comes to being more proactive and less reactive when it comes to handling conflicts and disagreements. Are you with me?!

As a GirlDad, you clearly know that more is caught than taught. So as you model what it looks like to be a conflict-resolver, your daughter will grow along with you. And the more you’re able to de-escalate the situation by regulating and calming your own nervous system responses, the more peace there will be in and with your daughter.

Today I’m sharing 10 things NOT to do to increase the likelihood of a positive resolution with your daughter when it comes to conflict resolution. This will help in your relationship with her, and also as you help her resolve conflicts with siblings and friends.

Then in in two weeks I’ll give you the other side with 10 things TO DO to resolve conflict with your daughter. (I’ll attach a pdf next time so you can copy it off and put it in a prominent place to remind you of these truths).

 
10 DON’T’s for Leading Your Daughter to Resolve Conflicts:

1.  DON’T raise your voice and escalate by yelling. (If you don’t want her to raise her voice, scream, swear, rage, come unhinged, etc., then you must lead the way by refusing to engage in any of these behaviors first).
   

2. DON’T fire words at her, coupled with intense emotion in an attempt to gain control of her and/or the situation. (Set a time limit with yourself--even now--and practice being self-aware as to when it’s wisdom to take a break. When you control yourself, you’re positively helping to resolve the conflict by decreasing the flow of reactivity).
   

3. DON’T disrespect her while demanding that she respect you. (This one is tricky because you obviously have to intervene if there’s harm to herself or others, and there needs to be an intervention. But as a rule, be mindful of modeling respect, which includes honoring her ‘no’ and negotiating a later conversation after you’ve both calmed down).
   

4. DON’T forget that she will follow your example. (This goes both ways---positive and negative. It’s called “Laws of the Harvest” where you reap what you sow in her life. The more you water the soil of her heart with consistent, nurturing deposits, the more she’ll grow and be full of life).
   

5. DON’T expect her to be the first to soften her tone and react right. (This is a hard one at times when you have to be the mature one when everything in you wants to react to her reaction. But it’s up to you to set the pace for relational health as you lead the way).
   

6. DON’T demand that she immediately respond to what you say or ask. (Remember that when her mid-brain is on fire and there’s upset and overwhelm, she needs time to cool off before she can listen or talk rationally).
   

7. DON’T walk away while shouting or reacting. (Let her know if you need to leave the room or the call, you will come back in “x” number of minutes so she is clear about your expectations and knows there will be an attempt at resolution later).
   

8. DON’T make fun of her for what she says or how she feels. (This is especially true if she makes no sense to you and her problems seems insignificant or invalid).
   

9.  DON’T go it alone. (Allow yourself to ask for help, support, and input from other dads, other women who were once your daughter’s age, as well as a counselor, mentor or pastor).
   

10. DON’T believe the lie that you don’t matter when it comes to shaping your daughter’s life and identity. (This goes beyond the current conflict and serves as a reminder that with every difficult situation, there is an opportunity to go deeper relationally with your daughter.)

Dad, I know it’s never fun, pleasant, or easy to navigate conflict, especially when it’s with your daughter whom you love with all your heart. And because it’s a normal part of relational health to have disagreements, it’s all about learning how to positively work through things rather than avoiding conflict.

I trust this list of ‘DON’T’s’ serves to remind you during challenging moments that you can actually strengthen your relationship with your daughter and deepen your bond by how you proactively work through the situation to a positive resolution.

I’m cheering you on as you DECREASE YOUR DON’T’S when it comes to being a conflict resolver. And in two weeks you’ll get the DO’s list…so be sure to follow along for Part 2. Go Dad!