10 Ways to End the Year Well with Your Daughter

10 Ways to End the Year Well with Your Daughter
 
As we come to the end of 2024, I want you to know---from my heart to yours---that it’s been an honor to stand with you in your fathering journey this year…through blogs, The Dad Whisperer Podcast, my books, and even in personal coaching sessions. Thank you for listening to me, trusting me and letting me partner with you as I seek to champion you in your role as a GirlDad.
 
Yet before we turn the page to the new year, I encourage you to look back and consider where you’ve grown and evaluate where you still need to grow. This is what ‘ending well’ looks like in action.
 
As fathers, you often find yourselves in a race against time. And especially as your daughter matures and you see time slipping through your fingers, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed, perhaps even discouraged, where you feel like you’re not doing enough or can never make up for lost time.
 
I use a two-word phrase with my clients A LOT. They are: END WELL.
 
We all know that endings are a part of life---whether it’s ending a year in school or ending a job or ending a dating relationship, etc.. Yet it can be easy sometimes to focus more on what’s ahead than looking back to evaluate, reconsider or celebrate.
 
This brings up a question: Does ending one thing well hinder or support the next thing starting better…or worse?
 
I would argue that ending well is paramount to starting the next chapter with more capacity and focus, hope and optimism.
 
In my desire to come alongside you as you end 2024 well and look ahead to 2025, here’s your action-oriented assignment, should you dare to accept it!
 
Print out this blog and next to each of these 10 items, write down where you’ve succeeded in reaching your goals with your daughter this past year. Then write one specific way you will commit to grow in each of these areas in 2025 as you invest in pursuing your daughter’s heart with even more intention.

1. Emotional Availability
How have I done with honoring her feelings and emotions while being in touch with my own?

2. Respect Her Growing Independence
How am I doing with encouraging her to take risks and try new things without discouraging or criticizing her, even when the results are less than either of us hoped?

3. Creating Moments of Connection
How have I leaned into initiating or seizing opportunities to connect with her as opposed to a more of an avoidant or passive stance?

4. Celebrating Her Achievements, Big and Small
How am I vocalizing encouragement and positive support, even when she considers her attempt to be a failure or less than perfect?

5. Patience and Anger Control
How am I doing in ‘dropping my anger’ so patience leads the way rather than intense expressions of irritation and/or disappointment?

6. Initiating Spiritual Conversations and Experiences
How have I purposefully engaged her in praying together, talking about God, growing her spiritual practices, making wise decisions, strengthening her moral character, facilitating time with her faith community, etc.?

7. Strengthening Communication
How am I establishing more frequent, vulnerable and honest conversations where she knows she is safe to process, feel and receive quality input from me?

8. Listening More Intently
How am I doing with growing my listening skills with a goal to listen twice as much as I talk (two ears/one mouth), all the while making sure she’s expressed herself fully before I offer advice, input, or consequences?

9. Expressing Unconditional Love
How often is she hearing me confirm there’s nothing she can ever do to diminish my love for her? (The Five Love Languages provide a concrete template---words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, touch, gifts).

10. Model Healthy Relationships and Boundaries
How is my daughter learning from watching me---in how to relate to others, set limits with money or alcohol or ministry or time, the way I treat her mom, do my job, live out my work ethic, relationships with friends, etc.

Ending well with your daughter this year isn’t about a single conversation, or a specific moment—it’s about being aware that she’s watching and learning and yearning for your approval and positive investment in her life.

By being intentional in how you show love, as well as respect and support her, you’ll ensure that your bond remains strong into next year and beyond.

By ending 2024 well, you’re setting the foundation for a powerful and meaningful 2025. I look forward to staying connected in 2025…see you then!

Put Your Love In Writing (a last minute Christmas gift that’s guaranteed to be your daughter’s favorite!)

Merry Christmas Dad! I know we’re all pressed for time as we get closer to December 25th, so I’m meeting you where you’re at with a last minute Christmas gift that’s guaranteed to be your daughter’s favorite!

If you want to give your daughter a Christmas gift this year that: 

• Won’t cost any money

• Won’t require driving to the mall (you’re welcome!)

• Will only take 30 to 45 minutes of your time

• Is guaranteed to be one of her all-time favorite gifts…then get your pen ready!

One of the greatest presents you can give your daughter is to affirm her through writing. 

I speak from personal experience by sharing that I’ve saved all the letters and cards my dad has ever made me. And I’ve heard innumerable stories from other daughters who also have saved letters and cards from their dads, which are sacred treasures, especially for those whose dads are no longer here to tell them in person that they are loved.

And in a world where written communication is increasingly digital (texts, emails, tweets), a letter scripted in your own handwriting is sure to stand out as unique.

Dad, put your words of affirmation, acceptances, belief, encouragement, promise, and praise into writing because your daughter will treasure what you say to her for a lifetime. 

The time you spend now putting your thoughts, feelings, prayers, wishes, hopes, and dreams into written form will pay dividends long after you’re gone as she reads and rereads your words.

Whether you’re a dad who has already begun this practice or you are a tentative newbie, I want to share a few ideas to support your pen-to-paper challenge. 

Here are a few dad-to-daughter letter-writing ideas to add to your repertoire:

• What is one of the first things you remember about her from when she was born and you looked at her for the first time?

• What beauty did you see in her then and what beautiful features do you see in her now? (Girls love hearing about their eyes, smile, and the unique features that you see as beautiful)

• Write about a favorite childhood memory you have of her

• What strengths do you believe she has, both in terms of skill and in her person (her character, personality, etc.)?

• Write about a favorite childhood memory you have of her

• Tell her specific reasons you’re proud of her

• Write about what obstacles you have seen her overcome—emphasize such qualities as courage, resilience, strength, commitment, endurance, and power

• Write about dreams you have for her future, whether in the form of your wishes for her or things you pray about for her—do this without preaching or lecturing, only encourage

• Tell her what it means to you to spend time with her

• Communicate why you love being her dad in this season of her life (add current things about her age right now that you’re aware of and highlight them as positive)

• Let her know that you will always be there for her, telling her what it means to you to be her dad

Dad, as you give your daughter the gift of a letter from you this Christmas, I guarantee it will be one of her favorite gifts that will last a lifetime.