Your Valentine's MONTH Challenge, Dads!

You may think you misread my blog title because I used the word month instead of day. But I assure you that you’re seeing things correctly! Let me tell you why.

For many men, Valentine’s Day is that one day each year when they know that if they forget the card, candy, flowers, or the fancy dinner, they’ll be in the doghouse. So the motivation sometimes is more about not getting in trouble than it is on reaching the heart of the one you love.

Here’s the inside scoop to better understand the women in your life: The underlying desire for most women is that we just want to know that we’re valued and treasured more than one day here or there. And especially when it feels a bit forced on Valentines’ Day, we appreciate the “over-and-above” reminders that we’re really loved beyond that 24-hour time span.

So if you, as a dad to your daughter, want to be intentional with heart investments in her throughout February, it’s time to capitalize on this opportunity of communicating love to show her your love for an entire month, not just a day.

Here’s a not-very-hidden Venusian secret: We women love love. We love stories about love. We love being in loved. We love being the one loved.

And though some women are less outwardly demonstrative when it comes to emotional expressions of their longings, inside the heart of every girl and woman is a God-given desire to be pursued and cherished, adored and known.

Since you were the first one to hold her heart, your love deposits carry a lot of relational weight. If you as a dad miss the opportunity to pursue your daughter’s heart, she’ll be more apt to go looking for love elsewhere because this is a legitimate need, not just a want.

Let me back up my statement with an illustration. 

Did you know, according to Hallmark and industry sources, approximately 150 million Valentine's Day cards are exchanged annually in the United States, making it the second most popular card-sending holiday after Christmas?! And if you add in kids’ classroom Valentines, there could be as many as 1 billion cards sold each year. 

Adding to Hallmark’s awareness of a woman’s desire for romance and love, especially this time of year, they continue to expand their movie empire every single year.

Since stats are a powerful way to underscore a point, here are some confirming facts regarding their nationwide domination in the area of romantic cinematic expression:

• In 2010 there were 6 original Hallmark holiday movies

• In 2014, there were 12 

• In 2015, the network added 21 new movies to their lineup

• In 2017, they produced 33 more

• In June of 2018, they announced they were debuting 90 additional new movies that would span all year long!

• In 2020 they premiered 40 new original holiday movies

• In 2023, 40 more 

• And in 2025, 24 MORE were added to their vast repertoire! 

What this says to me is simply this: If a woman isn’t experiencing true love in her life (which may or may not include heartfelt romance, but definitely includes agape love, which is selfless love from another----which includes you as her father), she will be drawn to watching someone else live out her romantic story.

And even though every single Hallmark storyline is predictable, cheesy, unrealistic, anticipated, scripted, and improbable, we women have an internal draw to the fantasy, which can become a substitute for reality, particularly when it’s non-existent.

So Dad, here’s where you get to shine. 

Become the Prince Charming in your daughter’s romantic story. Whether she has a special someone or not, you can let her know every single day during this entire month of February that she is your treasure.

Start today and make a commitment to communicate love to her daily for the next 23 days of this month. And rest assured that some days will be more significant in terms of your time, money, and energy, yet by mixing it up it will add strength to the impact of your loving expressions.

Here are some practical ideas to get you started:

• Text her an affirming message (to highlight something you’ve not typically highlighted before, such as a character quality that you admire in this season of her life)

• Write a note and send it via snail mail so she sees your loving words in your own handwriting (and if she’s like me, she’ll save it forever)

• Call her to tell her why you thought of her today (leaving a voicemail message is a great idea so she can replay it again and again)

• FaceTime her and ask questions about her day, her feelings, her fears, and her dreams (make it your goal to get her to talk while you listen)

• Send her flowers (and make sure to send a card that tells her why she’s amazing in your eyes)

• Buy her a gift or two (tangible expressions of your love---where you put your money where your mouth is---will remind her that she’s your treasure for days and months to come)

• Stop by her workplace or school and leave a treat with a note (which I guarantee will be shown to all of her friends and they’ll wish you were their dad!)

• Take her out to breakfast, lunch or dinner (let her choose the place…and then between the time you set up the date and the time you spend together, it will bring joy to her heart as she looks forward to time with you)

So there you have it, Dad: your February challenge.

I can hardly wait to hear how you, as dialed-in dads, give Hallmark a run for their money this year by showing who the real hero is in your daughter’s story.

Write me at drmichellewatson@gmail.com and tell me how it goes so I can celebrate with you!



[P.S....Speaking of Hallmark, I was recently invited to write one God story in a friend’s devotional titled "Written in Heaven: His Story, Our Lives," where 40 women each shared a powerful God story in their own life. I talked about my singleness and getting married at the age of 60, and I titled my story, “Better Than Hallmark.”

This book would be a great gift for your daughter, wife, girlfriend or female friends because 40 women will be encouraging them in them in their own faith journey. I highly recommend it!]

End the Year by Leaving a Long-Lasting Legacy

With this being the last Dad-Daughter Friday Blog of 2025, I’m reflecting on my year and inviting you to do the same. When it comes to your relationship with your daughter, you’ve no doubt been investing in her this past year and this is worth celebrating.

As you think about the concept of legacy, let’s start by defining the term. Legacy is “the long-lasting impact of particular events, actions, etc. that took place in the past, or in a person’s life.”

And though legacy often refers to highlighting deposits at the end of someone’s life, for purposes of this conversation, let’s reflect on end of year relational investments with your daughter.

In the definition above, the words “long-lasting impact” stand out to me for a couple of reasons:

1. Sometimes we never know how little things have big impact. On the positive side, something you may not have thought to be a big deal----a gentle response or short hand-written note, a text or a phone call to check in---was all it took to make your daughter’s day better.

2. Conversely, one small but intense, negative response on your part may have stuck with her long beyond that specific interaction. And she may still be carrying the impact of that wound here at the end of this year.

The only way to know how your responses landed is to ask your daughter for input.

Why not end the year strong by inviting your daughter to respond---in person or in writing---to these two questions:

1. Can you remember any specific words I’ve spoken to you this past year that have stuck with you that made you feel better about yourself?

2. Can you remember any specific words I’ve spoken to you that have stuck with you this past year that made you feel worse about yourself?

Then, celebrate the positive investments and address the negatives.

Be willing to apologize and ask forgiveness. Without defensiveness, explanations or justification, even if your recollection is different than hers, let her know you love her fully and completely.

Ask yourself if you’d rather win the argument or win her heart.

With intentional focus, you can end the year well by checking in with your daughter by leading a conversation that cleans out any potential “closets” of unfinished business. Then you can affirm her for where you’ve seen her grow and mature this year.

This is what it looks like to end the year with an intentional commitment to leaving a positive legacy in your daughter’s life that will last long beyond this year. 

5 Ways to Prepare Yourself for Reconciliation with Your Estranged Daughter

With the holidays officially upon us, I know there are many of you dads who are struggling to claim this as “the happiest time of the year.” The reason? Distance from your daughter (and/or son).

The reality is that I receive more emails from dads around the country asking about what to do to connect with their estranged daughters than I do anything else…by a long shot. And I want to see that sad reality change through empowering dads to do whatever it takes to make amends and pursue healing at any cost to themselves.

Now I realize that there’s always more to a story than merely what I hear, but my encouragement to these men—and to you ---continues to include validation, coupled with suggestions for action.

But first, a story to encourage you.

---

My friend and former NFL quarterback, Ed Tandy McGlasson, founded an incredible organization called Blessing of the Father Ministries. Ed is one of the most passionate people I know when it comes to understanding the power of a father’s blessing, which leads  him to enthusiastically speak words of life into men and women everywhere by affirming how much they are loved by God as their Father.

One of the most powerful stories he tells is of a dad who hadn’t seen his daughter in over twenty years, since she was thirteen years old, and every time he reached out to her, there was no response. Desperate for direction, he met with Ed, who suggested that he waste no time in writing these exact words to his estranged daughter:

Help me understand how much I hurt you when I divorced your mom.

That’s all it took for his daughter to quickly respond. He didn’t defend or explain. He listened. And their relationship was restored.

---

Perhaps these are the words you need to say to your daughter in this season: “Help me understand how much I hurt you when I . . .”

On the other hand, Dad, sometimes your first move will require what could look like apparent inaction. Stated otherwise, by not moving, you’re moving. Let me explain. If your daughter isn’t ready to talk to you right now, you must honor her boundaries and wait until she gives you the green light.

Outwardly, this may look like you’re doing nothing, but in reality this allows you to prepare yourself for when she’s ready to communicate with you.

That said, I want to share some ideas that you can put into practice to prepare YOURSELF for the day your daughter will hopefully be ready to re-engage with you.

And if your daughter is open to having a conversation with you--whether in person or via email/text or over the phone--feel free to use the information below to guide you. (For more specifics, you can refer to my book, Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters).

Here are some keys to preparing your heart for reconciliation with your estranged daughter:

1. Pray for restoration.
   I understand that at times our prayers may feel like they’re hitting the ceiling. But it’s important to remember that your prayers are being heard by your Heavenly Father who says if we call on him he will answer us and tell us great and unsearchable things that we don’t know (Jeremiah 33:3). Ask Him to move in ways that only a true Father can. Write out prayer requests and date them so you can see how God answers as you stay the course with believing prayer.

2.  Own your part…with humility.
   Sometimes it can be hard to see the log in our own eye while instead focusing on the splinter in someone else’s (Matthew 7:5). And when there has been hurt between a dad and daughter, such that the bridge between them is weakened or bombed out completely, as her father, it’s vital that you search your own heart before God and be willing to admit your fault. As you assess yourself honestly (even asking others for input), it will set the foundation of humility and openness for the time when your relationship is restored.

3. Don’t take her rejection personally.
   If the distance between you and your daughter has little or nothing to do with you (a.k.a. a divorce or tragedy beyond your control that led to the estrangement), then seek to stand strong in the truth that she needs space to work this out in her way and in her time. There’s nothing you can do to rush that process along. Patience is key.

4. Look with open and eager anticipation.
   One of my favorite Bible stories is in Luke 15, a parable Jesus tells about his Father. He shares five ways that the earthly dad in this story re-engages with his estranged son, thus providing a road map for dads who are in a similar situation. This father saw his child (which means he was consistently looking for him), was filled with compassion, ran toward him, threw his arms around him, and kissed him. That is the necessary stance for a dad with an estranged daughter, as modeled by the ultimate Dad, our Heavenly Father.

5. Buy a journal and write to her in it. (This one is my favorite!)
   Because you will date each entry, it will serve as a time capsule where you’ll be recording your thoughts and memories about her, dreams for her future, words of encouragement, prayers for her, positive and loving affirmations, things you wish you could tell her if she were here, etc. This is more for you than for her because it will keep hope alive as you write things down. Then when the time is right (which could be a long ways down the road possibly), you’ll have it as a gift to give her that will let her know that she was never far from your heart even when there was distance. It will prove to her the power of your love was solid even when she may have believed otherwise.

As noted from Luke 15, do not lose heart even while your daughter is away and distanced, possibly making choices that grieve you.

Do what God as a good Father does by staying open to her in your heart, looking forward for her return (no matter how long it takes) while believing that she needs your prayers for healing in her own life, whether or not she’s ready to engage with you now.

And in the meantime, I encourage you to do your own work. But this I mean to take steps to vulnerably tell your story and be willing to “look at your own stuff,” followed with receiving input and support from trusted friends or a counselor. This will set the foundation for a healthier relationship with your daughter when she returns because you’ll better understand yourself and have more tools in your emotional toolbox.

These five action steps above will set a foundation of hope as you take proactive steps forward. I pray your Thanksgiving and Christmas season will be a time of renewal, even in the hard spaces, as you celebrate the King who came to earth to give us the promise of heaven beyond today.

Two Vitally Important Questions to Ask Yourself to Start the New Year Strong

Happy New Year, Dads!

As we hit the ground running in these first days of January, I want confirm that I’m here with renewed passion and commitment to encourage you in your fathering goals.

And whether you’re wired to make resolutions for the new year…or not…I believe you’ll benefit from taking a few minutes to ask yourself TWO QUESTIONS to set your course as a dad in 2025.

Quick backstory: This week I was talking with my friend, Ron Hauenstein, who founded the Spokane Fatherhood Initiative (SpoFI) and he recently wrote a guest blog for us (so you might recognize his name). Ron shared something powerful that I want to pass along to you.

He asked the guys in his group to WRITE RESPONSES to two questions:

1.  What are the three most important changes I want to see in MYSELF in the next six months?

2. What are the three most important changes I want to see in MY CIRCUMSTANCES in the next six months?

I love the fact that these questions are introspective and invite us to look within ourselves rather than hanging our expectations for change on those around us---be it our kids, spouse, work environment, etc.

And secondly, the KEY is to WRITE what you want to see happen in yourself and your circumstances. Research confirms that putting goals into writing and seeing what you’ve written will increase the effectiveness of reaching your goals.

Finally, place your written or typed words in a prominent place as a reminder of your intention, goals, wishes, and mindset.

And though these two questions don’t specifically mention your role as a dad, we all know that as you grow and change, your daughter (and son) will enjoy the benefits and rewards of your proactive changes and positive decisions.

Ron told me that “the most predominant change the men want to see in themselves is better emotional control, followed by boosting self-worth.” So how about you, Dad? What is the most predominant change you want to see in your life this year?

I’d love for you to share with me your responses to the two questions above as a way to accentuate your goals with accountability.

We’ve all got lots of work to do. I’m so glad we’re all on the same team!

Put Your Love In Writing (a last minute Christmas gift that’s guaranteed to be your daughter’s favorite!)

Merry Christmas Dad! I know we’re all pressed for time as we get closer to December 25th, so I’m meeting you where you’re at with a last minute Christmas gift that’s guaranteed to be your daughter’s favorite!

If you want to give your daughter a Christmas gift this year that: 

• Won’t cost any money

• Won’t require driving to the mall (you’re welcome!)

• Will only take 30 to 45 minutes of your time

• Is guaranteed to be one of her all-time favorite gifts…then get your pen ready!

One of the greatest presents you can give your daughter is to affirm her through writing. 

I speak from personal experience by sharing that I’ve saved all the letters and cards my dad has ever made me. And I’ve heard innumerable stories from other daughters who also have saved letters and cards from their dads, which are sacred treasures, especially for those whose dads are no longer here to tell them in person that they are loved.

And in a world where written communication is increasingly digital (texts, emails, tweets), a letter scripted in your own handwriting is sure to stand out as unique.

Dad, put your words of affirmation, acceptances, belief, encouragement, promise, and praise into writing because your daughter will treasure what you say to her for a lifetime. 

The time you spend now putting your thoughts, feelings, prayers, wishes, hopes, and dreams into written form will pay dividends long after you’re gone as she reads and rereads your words.

Whether you’re a dad who has already begun this practice or you are a tentative newbie, I want to share a few ideas to support your pen-to-paper challenge. 

Here are a few dad-to-daughter letter-writing ideas to add to your repertoire:

• What is one of the first things you remember about her from when she was born and you looked at her for the first time?

• What beauty did you see in her then and what beautiful features do you see in her now? (Girls love hearing about their eyes, smile, and the unique features that you see as beautiful)

• Write about a favorite childhood memory you have of her

• What strengths do you believe she has, both in terms of skill and in her person (her character, personality, etc.)?

• Write about a favorite childhood memory you have of her

• Tell her specific reasons you’re proud of her

• Write about what obstacles you have seen her overcome—emphasize such qualities as courage, resilience, strength, commitment, endurance, and power

• Write about dreams you have for her future, whether in the form of your wishes for her or things you pray about for her—do this without preaching or lecturing, only encourage

• Tell her what it means to you to spend time with her

• Communicate why you love being her dad in this season of her life (add current things about her age right now that you’re aware of and highlight them as positive)

• Let her know that you will always be there for her, telling her what it means to you to be her dad

Dad, as you give your daughter the gift of a letter from you this Christmas, I guarantee it will be one of her favorite gifts that will last a lifetime.