Grief Sets the Pace
Michelle Watson
Grief is a tender place to be.
We never choose it, but it chooses us. Better said, there’s no escaping the kind of excruciating pain we experience while on earth over the loss of a loved one.
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Filtering by Category: Navigating Emotions
An Open Letter to Daughters Everywhere (Guest Blog by Don Blackwell)
Michelle Watson
Dads are notoriously poor communicators when it comes to feelings, especially with their daughters.
Read MoreOut of Love for My Father
Michelle Watson
With Father’s Day being this past Sunday, I’m still in celebration mode for you dads! I love that we have this day every year to focus on telling you how grateful we are for you.
Read MoreFinding Hope When You Just Want Father’s Day to Be Over
Michelle Watson
I want to be a catalyst in facilitating healing for those with unresolved father issues so we can be healthier people regardless of the hand we were dealt.
Read MoreClosing the Dream Gap
Michelle Watson
Over the past few years a new term has emerged called the ‘Dream Gap.’ You may have already heard of it, but for me this is something I just learned about recently. And because it’s rocking my world, I wanted to bring it to your attention, Dads.
Read MoreDad, Your Presence IS the Present
Michelle Watson
As a dad, you probably have even more expectations of yourself in this season----like you need to keep everyone happy and meet all the needs and cover all the bases. Yet the reality is this is more than anyone can possibly be.
Read MoreFathering Through My Own Wounds: Lessons I’ve Learned as a GirlDad (Guest Blog by Tony Miltenberger)
Michelle Watson
Being a dad is full of surprises, but being a GirlDad has taught me lessons I never expected.
Read MoreHow The Anxious Generation is Influencing Your Daughter…and What You as Her Dad Can Do About It [Part 2]
Michelle Watson
So how did your extra intentional REAL LIFE time with your daughter go these past two weeks? I trust that your daughter---and you---were willing to put your phones DOWN so that your mood and focus and mental health benefits could go UP!
Read MoreHow The Anxious Generation is Influencing Your Daughter…and What You as Her Dad Can Do About It [Part 1]
Michelle Watson
I just reviewed a new book and it’s so powerful that I have to tell you about it!
Read MoreWhy Emotions Matter (Guest Blog with Terra Mattson)
Michelle Watson
Emotions. 😠😊😢😨😒
In healthy relationships, we make room for our emotions. In fact, we value them, rather than villainize them.
When it comes to dads and daughters, emotional differences can lead misunderstandings and divisions, reactions and/or relational misses. Yet it’s important to know that our individual stories and our hard-wired natures cause some of us lead with our emotions while others lead with logic. There isn’t a good or bad, right or wrong.
Some of us were taught emotions are healthy while others were taught to ignore them.
Yet regardless of our starting point, we all have emotions.
When we learn how to name, care for, and utilize our emotions for our good and the good of those in our wake of influence, we become healthier and more wholehearted leaders. [Yes…you, Dad, are definitely a leader in your home so I’m speaking directly to you]. And when we take time to listen to our daughters with more compassion, we make wiser decisions in our responses.
Dad, as you grow in seeing the value of your daughter’s emotions and intentionally seek to understand and validate her needs and values as she expresses herself, the healthier and more wholehearted your leadership, engagement, and pacing with her will be.
Here’s another way to think about it. Emotions are not just a by-product of a good song or residue from a difficult conflict, they are created by a God who made us in His image (See Genesis 1:26). And if God has emotions, then by all means, emotions must be good.
Having emotions is not the issue.
It's what we do with them that matters most.
The key is learning to not be ruled by our emotions by following them or stuffing them, but rather bringing them to the table to be a part of the overall discussion with our minds, our bodies, and our souls. This can take time and practice alongside a counselor, coach, or friend. [Dr. Michelle and I both love coaching men and women who need someone to walk with them into these more vulnerable areas…so don’t hesitate to reach out to either one of us!]
When we learn how to care for our emotions, we become better parents, spouses, and leaders, creating healthier trust-filled environments in our homes, work and communities. Caring for our emotions has the potential to strengthen relationships, which sets the foundation for healthier father-daughter bonding.
Dad, I encourage you today to:
Make it your goal to make room for your daughter’s emotions while honoring her hard-wiring.
Take a gentle step toward her while her emotions are being expressed.
Come with curiosity and a willingness to better understand what’s going on in her heart.
Let her know her emotions matter.
This is how you can build a safe home and a safe space for your daughter to be known, heard, seen, and loved…by you and by God.
Terra Mattson is an author, speaker, podcast host, and alongside her husband, Jeff, is co-founder and CEO of Living Wholehearted, LLC and Courageous Girls. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, licensed professional counselor, and executive coach, she has spent decades counseling, coaching, and training leaders around trauma-informed theology and wholehearted leadership.